Medical Ethicist Gifts

Feeding Tubes Removed $50.

"Went in for a simple blood test and got cloned by mistake."

"I have no objection to alternative medicine so long as traditional medical fees are scrupulously maintained."

"You are very seriously ill...you need to go somewhere where they have stem cell research...that would be just about anywhere but the United States."

'Will you be truthful with me please?'

'Spirochetes are sentient beings Edward....'

'A doctor in the hospital's basement agonizes over the ethics of pulling the plug its ailing furnace.'

"Even though it says 'Do not resuscitate' on his chart, it doesn't mean you can steal his watch."

'Cryogenics, eh? Nice try. Think they'll find a cure before your head thaws?'

Organ Donation Clinic

UN human rights Commission has classified forced feeding of Guantanamo hunger strikers as torture.

"Throwing acid is wrong, in some people's eyes."

"We don't have assisted suicide, but if you can convince the state you're a dog, we can euthanize you."

Illegal abortions and surgeries are causing deaths in women

'The regulations are complicated, so to keep religious groups happy, the publicly funded abortions will be performed by an atheist.'

Pharm Drugs Inc: 'The placbo group is selected entirely on income - poor people can't afford designer drugs anyway.'

"Doctor, enough with the ‘clear.’ My husband’s dead!"

"But living longer may not be right for you."

"It's little Pharma. Want some baby aspirin?"

'Yes, high prices saves lives - the more a patient pays, the quicker the recovery!'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

'You won't believe this, but even if the vaccine works, they wont give it to other sick mice.'

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

The Price of Freedom

"Boss... I just read an article about trans-humanism. Apparently, sometime in the next 50 years, it will become possible to live forever."

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

'Madam, this is not pornography. It is a textbook on obsterics and gynecology...'

Doctors Discussion

"Discussion topic: Is our society becoming less civil and more violent?"

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

'I don't know what all the fuss is about.'