Medical Ethics Gifts

Stethoscope line.

'See? You missed one. When you pull the plug, be sure to pull them all.'

At first she didn't want to live if it meant being attached to tubes. But before you knew it, they were getting along just fine.

"A bit nervous.. It is your first euthanasia I presume."

'Anyone here who didn't take the Hippocratic Oath?'

'Congratulations! It's a saviour sibling.'

'Hmm, if I may, Mrs Hamilton,before we discuss assisted suicide, I do feel I should at least examine your husband.'

Biblical Jewish Medical Ethics

Medical whistle blowers.

'Radio active depleted uranium dump'

'Don't worry, I haven't sued any patients. I got the J.D. as a deterrent to lawsuits!'

Doctors Discussion

Stafford Hospital - Twinned with Hell.

"We'd like you to be at breaking point seven days a week."

"I made the wrong diagnosis, and I caused your husband needless suffering. I am a terrible doctor.".

"Sounds like a heart attack. Tell him to take two aspirin and call my office in the morning."

"You're so much more than just another patient to me, Brian. . . you're also a potential organ donor for my dodgy liver."

Lethal Injection

"That's a nasty skvint. I'm gonna haf to sterilise you." - Sven Behaving Badly

'Young man, haven't you ever heard of the Hippocratic Oath?'

'Why won't you believe me,I was carrying that donor card for a friend...'

Center For Turning Disease Into Long-Term Profitable Treatments.

"What a great day!! This old lady who had public insurance bled to death in the waiting room, but we saved the privatly insured guy with a broken finger nail!"

"Ought we to blow the whistle? He is, after all, a senior consultant."

"If it wasn't for my Hippocratic oath, you'd be dead by now."

"We haven't found an organ donor yet. Would you be interested in a rental?"

"Reduce my ears? No, I want to make my nose bigger!"

"Oh great, another former patient suing for malpractice!"

"I was just glad to get the transplant I needed without having to sacrifice an animal donor."

"We'll have to open you up again - We need to settle a bet."

'Yes we can cure you - but the bigger problem now is: can you afford it?'

"Your health insurance doesn't cover what you've got...so I'm diagnosing you with something they do cover."

"Is this your bright idea, Janet?"

"I'm just checking eBay to see if there's any movement on that new liver you need."

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."