Medical Ethicist Pillows

Feeding Tubes Removed $50.

"Went in for a simple blood test and got cloned by mistake."

"I have no objection to alternative medicine so long as traditional medical fees are scrupulously maintained."

"You are very seriously ill...you need to go somewhere where they have stem cell research...that would be just about anywhere but the United States."

'Will you be truthful with me please?'

'Spirochetes are sentient beings Edward....'

'A doctor in the hospital's basement agonizes over the ethics of pulling the plug its ailing furnace.'

"Even though it says 'Do not resuscitate' on his chart, it doesn't mean you can steal his watch."

'Cryogenics, eh? Nice try. Think they'll find a cure before your head thaws?'

Organ Donation Clinic

UN human rights Commission has classified forced feeding of Guantanamo hunger strikers as torture.

"Throwing acid is wrong, in some people's eyes."

You called, Boss? Did you hear about that guy who bought a 62-year-old live-saving drug and then hiked the price 5000% from $23.50 a pill to $750 a pill? It's outrageous! In this country you can get away with basically extorting sick and dying people, just to make a few more bucks. People's lives aren't considered anywhere near as important as one man's greed. What part outrages you? That you didn't think of it first? Get me some dirt on whoever owns penicillin.

"Do you mind if I put this on instagram?"

"We don't have assisted suicide, but if you can convince the state you're a dog, we can euthanize you."

Illegal abortions and surgeries are causing deaths in women

'The regulations are complicated, so to keep religious groups happy, the publicly funded abortions will be performed by an atheist.'

Pharm Drugs Inc: 'The placbo group is selected entirely on income - poor people can't afford designer drugs anyway.'

"Doctor, enough with the ‘clear.’ My husband’s dead!"

"But living longer may not be right for you."

Revised Medical Ethics at a Glance

"It's little Pharma. Want some baby aspirin?"

'Yes, high prices saves lives - the more a patient pays, the quicker the recovery!'

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Build your very own conflict of interest!

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

'You won't believe this, but even if the vaccine works, they wont give it to other sick mice.'

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

"Boss... I just read an article about trans-humanism. Apparently, sometime in the next 50 years, it will become possible to live forever."

The Price of Freedom

This Is What Moral Corruption Looks Like

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.