Medical Ethics Advisor Pillows

"Sorry, but your insurance pays for just a bed."

Squeezing the Free Press.

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

Stoneage business ethics: 'But, hey, this 'ethics' stuff isn't carved in stone!'

Doctors Discussion

'We're getting back to first principles...which means we're going to have some.'

"Whoa! Back up a second... 'R & D' stands for 'Research & Development?' We always thought it meant 'Rip-off & Distribute!'"

'Now you see, that's EXACTLY what we should try to avoid here.'

"Is this your bright idea, Janet?"

'You want a nurse present? -- Are you discriminating against me because of my gender?'

Anonymous Donations

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

"Went in for a simple blood test and got cloned by mistake."

Stethoscope line.

'Now, at first glance, this may LOOK like a challenge.'

Stafford Hospital - Twinned with Hell.

'A doctor in the hospital's basement agonizes over the ethics of pulling the plug its ailing furnace.'

Euthanasia Clinic

Mrs. Tree? A hockey ball hit your daughter. It's likely just a bad bruise. Whew! Though there could be a fracture, nerve damage or fatal blood clots. What? Don't worry. Our medical advisor is evaluating Twig right now. Can you sign this liability waiver? Her hand seems fine. Team lawyer.

Nasty, Shady, and Gruesome equal Massive potential profits

Charlie's medical advice always went in one ear and out the other.

NHS targets

'And get this: just when I thought the worst was over, the media blasts me for 'opportunistic, predatory business tactics!' Boy, did THAT sting!'

"Poverty is a social disease and it's not covered by your health insurance"

'It says take all your medication - if you can afford it.'

"Yikes! Okay, I'm going to pretend I didn't see this."

"The diagnostic computer think I should defrag your hard drive."

"And if the golf area of the brain was somehow destroyed, there might be a little something extra in it for you."

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

Biblical Jewish Medical Ethics

'Don't worry, I haven't sued any patients. I got the J.D. as a deterrent to lawsuits!'

'Yes we can cure you - but the bigger problem now is: can you afford it?'

"We'll discuss the ethics of the matter if you're sure you want to open that can of worms."

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."