Ethical Researcher Gifts

"If you think this is bad, you should see what they do to themselves"

Weapons market

'Bad man. . . you are a Bad Man!'

'If it has to be animal testing - get into cosmetics.'

Fox's tail

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

Ethics exam cheater.

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Squeezing the Free Press.

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

Build your very own conflict of interest!

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

'Loved your bit on market share, Felton - perfect blend of plausibility and outright deception.'

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

'This is from a post-ethics phase.'

First, do no harm. - Physician's oath. First, do no harm to each other. - Patient's oath. That second one is going to be tricky someday, Hippocrates.

'You won't believe this, but even if the vaccine works, they wont give it to other sick mice.'

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

"Hi, Bob - your consultants have just arrived."

This Is What Moral Corruption Looks Like

"Moulting"

"Boss... I just read an article about trans-humanism. Apparently, sometime in the next 50 years, it will become possible to live forever."

"I think you refuse to admit your god condones slavery, because doing so would be an admission you are more moral than he is. And that conflicts with your Borg programming."

The Price of Freedom

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

Stoneage business ethics: 'But, hey, this 'ethics' stuff isn't carved in stone!'

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

'Please remember, it's not a lie if it turns a profit.'

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

"Discussion topic: Is our society becoming less civil and more violent?"