Ethical Thinkers Gifts

"What about commands that violate your moral code?"

"You better self is here to see you sir."

"I guess this must be the moral highground."

"I'd like to have a pet, but I think it's cruel to keep a dog tied up."

Investment banking - Ethics is our No. 7 concern.

"Souls are a dime a dozen. The best I can give you is ten free dance lessons."

It's only a sin if you talk about it

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

Ethics exam cheater.

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Squeezing the Free Press.

Others will fight for you

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

Build your very own conflict of interest!

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

'Loved your bit on market share, Felton - perfect blend of plausibility and outright deception.'

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

'You won't believe this, but even if the vaccine works, they wont give it to other sick mice.'

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

"I think you refuse to admit your god condones slavery, because doing so would be an admission you are more moral than he is. And that conflicts with your Borg programming."

"Take special note of the change to our policy on honesty."

The Price of Freedom

"Moulting"

"Hi, Bob - your consultants have just arrived."

"Boss... I just read an article about trans-humanism. Apparently, sometime in the next 50 years, it will become possible to live forever."

This Is What Moral Corruption Looks Like

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

Stoneage business ethics: 'But, hey, this 'ethics' stuff isn't carved in stone!'

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.