Ethicist Gifts

'Don't tell me this nonsense doesn't violate the code of bioethics.'

"I can't remember. Are we for or against cloning?"

'Yep, that does sound like an ethical dilemma, Phil. But relax... it's only a problem if you have a conscience.' 'That's just it! I think I do!!' 'Don't worry, I won't tell a soul.'

Ethics ethics.

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

'How'll we handle this?'

Code of ethics.

Animals Testing on Humans: 'Don't worry, they don't feel pain the way we do.'

"Our scientists say it would be a public health hazard, but market research shows it would sell like hot cakes - what do you think?"

'I find it harder and harder to get any work done with all the ethicists hanging around.'

'Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public. Ethical advertising uses the truth to deceive the public.'

10 Commandments Exceptions.

Moral Excuses through the ages.

'At last, an ethics committee that will listen to reason!'

'What's all this 'naughty or nice' jazz? ? Haven't you ever heard of situational ethics?'

'Then, as you can see, we give them some multiple choice tests.'

"So who votes yest to the idea of allowing cloning?"

"After they've foudn a cure, will you continue in the field of medical research?"

"I insist."

"Remember, cheaters never prosper. Unless they're celebrities."

"It's only a conflict of interest if the data turns out good."

'I don't know what all the fuss is about.'

Bioethics Committtee

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

ONE MORNING WHILE GETTING DRESSED,

'Save the Smallpox Virus'

"They've found a design fault!"

"At this point, we know it's addictive."

'Diogenes - I'm appointing you to form an ethics committee.'

'You won't believe this, but even if the vaccine works, they wont give it to other sick mice.'

'Our company is doing much better since we outsourced our ethics division to tribal warlords.'

"Hi, Mom - We learned in school today that ethics and morality are stupid and old-fashioned."

"Ignore me."

The New 'Science'

"If you ask me, we're all the problem."