Ethical Theorist Gifts

"Animal Liberation by Peter Singer"

Hate Platforms

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Build your very own conflict of interest!

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

'Loved your bit on market share, Felton - perfect blend of plausibility and outright deception.'

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

'You won't believe this, but even if the vaccine works, they wont give it to other sick mice.'

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

This Is What Moral Corruption Looks Like

"I think you refuse to admit your god condones slavery, because doing so would be an admission you are more moral than he is. And that conflicts with your Borg programming."

The Price of Freedom

"Boss... I just read an article about trans-humanism. Apparently, sometime in the next 50 years, it will become possible to live forever."

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

"Discussion topic: Is our society becoming less civil and more violent?"

'The bad news is that our company is bankrupt. The good news is that we're only morally bankrupt.'

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

"And here is where we started putting profits before people."

'Bad man. . . you are a Bad Man!'

The Dangers of Corporate Personhood

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

'I don't know what all the fuss is about.'

"Hi, Mom - We learned in school today that ethics and morality are stupid and old-fashioned."

'Are you sure these sprouts aren't GM?.'

Data Extraction Social Media Theme Park

"I have to admit Dick Cheney makes a strong argument for torture. But I still think torturing him would be wrong."

If we run with this account, we'll be accused of being ethically challenged and morally bankrupt...anyone got a problem with that?

"So he said, 'Where's your moral compass?' So I ate him."

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

'If you start granting amnesty for people for following their conscience, pretty soon everyone will be following his conscience.'

'Alright, just this once. One, two, three, four, five...'