Ethologist Gifts

Konrad Lorenz

The Jeopardy of Progress

Hate Platforms

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

"It's official"..."It's a drought!"

What are you giving Mother Earth this year?

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'What motivated you to become a environmentalist?'

Wildlife

Build your very own conflict of interest!

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

'The circle is complete!'

Rare earths are the key to a greenwashed, technotopian future

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

Figures from 'Ascent of Man' diagram all do the Conga: 'Let's all fo the Conga, na-na-na-na ...'

'Take it from me and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

Anthropologists discover the earliest known depiction of Jazz Hands.

Physician tending a mummy.

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

It beached on a pile of plastic bottles, so they were able to just roll it back out.

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

'Upon entering the rain forest...' 'Thousands of unknown species, and we can fool around with the genes of every one of them.'

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

'Loved your bit on market share, Felton - perfect blend of plausibility and outright deception.'

'Don't ask me why but he feels a great deal of pride in calling it his 'man-cave'.'

Evolution Exam Results.

God's Subcontractors

'Echo Tourism'

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

Don't let the woodcutters get too close or they'll make a fuel out of you!