Theologists Gifts

"Daniel, I seem to have dropped my keys, could you look around and toss them up."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

"We only got six days of funding."

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

Moses separating his Laundry.

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

Moses' Tablet

Ghostwriting the Bible

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

God Sneezes Out Creation

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"It's cool – God told us to!"