Theology Gifts

'Don't blame me for the smell -- I suggested silicon-based life forms.'

"It's Eden. You don't have to keep checking for ticks."

The Encyclopedia of Job

"Oh, I know He works in mysterious ways, but if I worked that mysteriously I'd get fired."

"This is a little embarrassing to admit, but everything that happens happens for no real reason."

'You realize, it may take us a while to get up to code.'

"Maybe he can't swim."

'Thank you for pretending you understand Kierkegaard.'

'We're the Meeks and we're here to see about our inheritance of the Earth.'

Martin Luther

Pub quiz night. Man says 'Oh no, look who's in ..' Three Wise Men sit at adjacent table.

'Only one carry-on.'

"We design them here, but the labor is cheaper in Hell."

"You picked the wrong religion, period. I'm not going to argue about it."

'You want us to cut WHAT off?'

'Oh no, I'm sure they'll believe me...but maybe you could sign them just in case?'

"I guess this is where we part ways."

The End of the World is postponed from 2000 to 2112.

'Let's have some fun -- let's make them responsible for their own actions.'

Moses' Reading Glasses

'But if He's omniscient, wouldn't praying just annoy him?'

''Commandments' is fine. But why not jazz it up and call them 'The top ten no-no's'?'

Just before The Big Bang

God's Wrath Level: high.

'Whoa! - Adam and Eve are WAY out of compliance!'

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

'I believe there's an unseen hand behind everything we do.'

'Hey, don't look at me -- I was AGAINST free will.'

Actual Results May Vary

John Calvin

Introducing Ed, The Nephew of God.

"Yes, but what are your goals?"

"I love your early work."

God creating creationism.

'Sheesh! - and we thought the PHARAOH was a control freak!'