Studying Theology Gifts

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

"This wandering in the desert for forty years thing -- It IS allegorical, isn't it?"

"Sorry Judas, we only came up with 29 pieces of silver."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"We only got six days of funding."

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

Moses separating his Laundry.

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

Moses' Tablet

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

God Sneezes Out Creation

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

Ghostwriting the Bible

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"