Theology Professor Gifts

Some catholic like it hot

What Does God Know?

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

Ethics exam cheater.

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'Hmph. College kids.'

"Guess who brought king cake!"

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"We only got six days of funding."

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

Ghostwriting the Bible

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

God Sneezes Out Creation

Moses' Tablet

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

"It's cool – God told us to!"

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"You call this a constitution?"

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."