College Professors Gifts

"Along with 'Antimatter,' and 'Dark Matter,' we've recently discovered the existence of 'Doesn't Matter,' which appears to have no effect on the universe whatsoever."

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"Welcome to the future"

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

Ethics exam cheater.

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Big Bang Theory.

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

'Hmph. College kids.'

Fear/Knowledge

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

Eternal Student.

Thinking Gears