University Professor Gifts

Gone Lecturin'

Gag t-shirt for Mensa members.

"The answer you seek can be found in the syllabus."

'Excuse me, where's the nanotechnology department?' - 'You just trod on it.'

Report on Plagiarism - 'You've copied all this off the internet...'

'If it's any consolation, our lack of business innovation will be the subject of analysis in some of the finest M.B.A. programs in the country.'

'Fred, rumor has it you're closing in on some profound, elemental truth about the universe, and I wanted to remind you that our research funding specifically prohibits that!'

Great moments in science. . . 'Nice work, you've isolated the funding gene.'

He's got 'I'm in grant renewal heaven' all over him.

'Hold on a minute. Someone stole my pen.'

Department of Archaeology Floor Plan

Macroscope

Great events in Chemistry...

'Medieval Studies is going nowhere without a 5-year strategic plan.'

"I told you when you moved into Dr. Condee's office that his bookshelves were due to collapse any day."

"I'm sorry...but I've just been informed recent technological advances have rendered this course obsolete!"

"It's a clear case of RLS: Repetitive Lecture Syndrome."

'I was working on my online degree, until my computer went on sabbatical.'

"They said he had to post his office hours, but they didn't say where."

"I worked my whole career to get a chair, and this is it?!"

Th Pscyhology Dept. and the Economics Dept. jointly present a seminar: 'Curing consumer confidence blues.'

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

"So, what does everyone think of XX81's suggestion for increased funding into AI research?"

'I haven't been in any academic journals but I do get my Tweets re-Tweeted a lot.'

The Evolutionary Biology Society.

Dr. Darrin found her peer review process unnerving.

Teacher and students.

Department of Geography: Latitude and Longitude.

Scientists continue their research on the Hippocampus.

I heard it's a diploma mill.

'Stop sulking Higgins: You have to share the Vector Network Analyzer!'

Mathematics.

'I don't believe it - if this evidence is correct it'll rock the very foundations of our research grant application.'

"You must be the new dean who's going to put a feminist tilt on the department."

Bearded Leftie.