College Teacher Gifts

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is that Professor Crenshaw finally traded in his slide rule for a calculator.'

Academic Jeopardy - "Reality divided by two gives us this truth."

A Puppet Named Juan

Where your mind & battle are los

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

Ethics exam cheater.

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

Copycats

I should be a writer when I grow up...

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Computer Room.

Gender Equality

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

At the Museum

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'C'mon get it straight.'

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"