Theology Thinker Gifts

"It's called monotheism, but it looks like downsizing to me."

Moses' Reading Glasses

God creating creationism.

'Sheesh! - and we thought the PHARAOH was a control freak!'

Charles Darwin and God on a chess board - science and religion

'Well if you don't want the apple, can I tempt you with this?'

"So who should we believe, the mysterious disembodied voice or the surprisingly persuasive talking snake?"

"Psst...quick -- check how long a Bible guy named Methuselah lived."

'I think you're looking for the Promise Keepers - they're upstairs.'

"Bad timing – he's in one of his Old testament moods today."

'I hope you won't consider it name dropping if I mention God.'

God looks at the nuclear explosions on earth and thinks: 'I shouldn't have rested on the seventh day...'

"I think it's obvious we're not going to agree on evolution." (Jesus fish and evolving fish talking)

'Okay, I want you to forget everything you learned back in Egypt...'

"I hate my fans."

'That looks a lot like YOUR handwriting!'

When The Seven Deadly Sins Come Knocking.

'Actually, we were hoping for a less high-maintenance God,'

'We're out of ideas, too - why don't You just make them in your own image?'

Is this the baby Jesus? No, it's the non-deonimational junior representative.

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

'Wait -- what if the Canaanites want to convert?'

'God is father to us all, but surely Jesus was his only biological child?'

'It's the simple life for me - tra-la-la!'

'Oh-oh -- Adam's calling dibs on everything!'

'Evidently, You promised the Promised Land to too many people.'

Catholics and Gays

'Everything was going perfectly until Adam donated that rib...'

Minister's in/out boxes say sow and reap.

"God's sent us some chocolates."

"No way will 'turn the other cheek' catch on!"

"Actually, sir, the rules were chiseled in stone."

"I can assure you the content is original."

"Be home soon, Dad....I'm just ordering tomb service."

"This would probably be a good time for me to apologize for all the 'Big Guy Upstairs' references I've made over the years!"