Contemporary Theology Thinkers Gifts

'Twelve More Disciples'

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"We only got six days of funding."

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

Ghostwriting the Bible

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

God Sneezes Out Creation

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

Moses' Tablet

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"All we have left is standing room only."

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"You call this a constitution?"

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

"It's cool – God told us to!"

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'