Theology Thinkers Gifts

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

"Well... I don't believe in you either!"

''Intelligent design'? -- Why, those patronizing little twerps!'

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'I'm taking the doctrines from all the mainstream religions into one church to end all the fighting over who has the most peaceful religion.'

"Spoiler alert in the Galilee precinct, boss, they insist they don't want to know that child's gender."

"Did he sin?"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

"We only got six days of funding."

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

God Sneezes Out Creation

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

Moses' Tablet

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

Ghostwriting the Bible

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'