Theological Thinkers Gifts

"Wait, save your money."

The loving, yet vengeful God of Cheshire!

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"We only got six days of funding."

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

God Sneezes Out Creation

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

Moses' Tablet

Ghostwriting the Bible

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

"It's cool – God told us to!"

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"You call this a constitution?"

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"All we have left is standing room only."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."