Theological Thinker Gifts

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

'Could you straighten my little brother out? -- he has the Trinity mixed up with the Three Stooges.'

Vocation,vocation,vocation.

'He'll need time to adjust -- he was a Unitarian.'

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

Fallen Angel

'...And I give you dominion over all things... no, wait.. I've changed my mind...'

'Maybe you could find a sermon idea in HERE.'

"Of course there's a god... who do you think feeds us every day?"

"Hey Noah, there is a guy named Jonah who wants to book passage."

'Are they fresh?'

"So, does this mean that what happens in Vegas never should've even happened in the first place?"

"The Bible does not say that!... And if it does, it's taken out of context!... And if it isn't, it's just a metaphor!... And if it's not, it's not a big deal!... And if it is, then that's just how things were done back then!... And if... er... shut up

"And lo, we made God in our own image.."

"Excuse me - at least half of those violate my right to pursue happiness."

"Seminary didn't prepare me for this."

"Which carousel has the luggage from Purgatory?"

Regular Sermons - Fire & Brimstone Sermons

"Look, don't 'Amen' me, and I won't 'Amen' you."

'The new recruits don't seem to have the same gravitas for the calling.'

Social Networking in Heaven.

'That 'Jonah' story sounded FISHY to me!'

'Science versus religion?'

'On that Noah thing, just rinse and repeat as necessary.'

'If we're supposed to have eternal life, how come we were created biodegradable?'

Creationism - do you think I was born yesterday?

Jerry Falwell - Evangelist.

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"We only got six days of funding."

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.