Christian Theologians Gifts

"I'm pretty sure we'll go to Heaven, we weren't the ones who screwed up in the Garden of Eden."

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"We only got six days of funding."

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

Ghostwriting the Bible

God Sneezes Out Creation

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

Moses' Tablet

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

"All we have left is standing room only."

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"You call this a constitution?"

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

"It's cool – God told us to!"

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

A surprise in heaven