Christianity Scholars Gifts

"First they have to settle who's the most christian."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

"Well, we needed the rain."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"You call this a constitution?"

Well HERE'S some good news...Judgement Day has been replaced by a multiple choice questionnaire.

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

"I've got writer's block."

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

The World's Biggest Book Club

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

'Can I download that as a PDF?'

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

10 Commitments? Sure, I guess I could give him those, too.

"Boss, you can't be serious! This can't be paradise. . . there's no football and no pubs!"

The loving, yet vengeful God of Cheshire!

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

"What did Jesus order?"

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

King Solomon's Pollster.

"...and if you add wind-chill factor, the next plague will be even worse!"

'Please take your receipt!'

Tragically Moses didn't see the eleventh commandment.

A likely story - lost his waterskis in a poker game !

'No, I will not entertain a motion to suspend the rules!'

The End of the World is postponed from 2000 to 2112.

'Don't you think they'd be better off in the water?'

'You brought gold? I thought we agreed to a twenty dollar limit?'

'These don't apply ex post facto, do they?'