Religion Scholars Gifts

The Last Brunch.

"Guess who brought king cake!"

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'Yes, all at once!'

"Well, we needed the rain."

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"It's cool – God told us to!"

A surprise in heaven

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

"Drop everything, Dominic. I need you to proof this for blasphemy."

How world war III started.

'We'd better speed up the Eve project -- Adam's got himself an imaginary playmate.'

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

'My husband? -- He went to the theologically-challenged place.'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

"...and if you add wind-chill factor, the next plague will be even worse!"

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

'Please take your receipt!'