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The Last Brunch.

"Guess who brought king cake!"

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

You got that beer that the monks make, didn't you?

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'Yes, all at once!'

"Well, we needed the rain."

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"It's cool – God told us to!"

A surprise in heaven

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

The World's Biggest Book Club

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

"Drop everything, Dominic. I need you to proof this for blasphemy."

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

'We'd better speed up the Eve project -- Adam's got himself an imaginary playmate.'

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

How world war III started.

Moses Today. Due to the sensitive nature of this matter, my source wishes to remain anonymous.

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

"Commandments aren't really selling these days. However, we're willing to consider self-help tips or personal improvement ideas."

'My husband? -- He went to the theologically-challenged place.'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

"...and if you add wind-chill factor, the next plague will be even worse!"

"No, the Trinity is not the Father, The Son, and the Preacher's wife."