Ethology Gifts

Konrad Lorenz

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

Hate Platforms

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

Ethics exam cheater.

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Squeezing the Free Press.

Build your very own conflict of interest!

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

Moses separating his Laundry.

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

Ghostwriting the Bible

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

God Sneezes Out Creation

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Loved your bit on market share, Felton - perfect blend of plausibility and outright deception.'

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

What We Thought Were Canals Are Deep Prejudices and Inequities.

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."