Ethical Philosophers Gifts

Your chance to feel smug about all the choices you made.

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

Ethics exam cheater.

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Thinking Gears

Build your very own conflict of interest!

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

'Loved your bit on market share, Felton - perfect blend of plausibility and outright deception.'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

"Buzz off, Fly-boy. We don't need more accessories."

Correct Comics *Drawn By A Vegetarian On Acid-Free Recycled Paper In A Drug-Free Environment

"Eat my dust!"

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

Slavery Reparations

'You won't believe this, but even if the vaccine works, they wont give it to other sick mice.'

Corporate Ethics Department, how may I help you?

Arthur Schopenhauer

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

'I'm re-enacting a battle with my conscience.'

My mother says the bible is full of good people, like Moses, who brought kindness to the world. That alone makes it a worthy basis for morality in today's world. Moses, Numbers 31:9-18(NIV), look it up.

The Price of Freedom

"Boss... I just read an article about trans-humanism. Apparently, sometime in the next 50 years, it will become possible to live forever."

"I think you refuse to admit your god condones slavery, because doing so would be an admission you are more moral than he is. And that conflicts with your Borg programming."

This Is What Moral Corruption Looks Like

Caption Contest TK

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

'The bad news is that our company is bankrupt. The good news is that we're only morally bankrupt.'