Ethics Philosophers Gifts

Time, temperature, and corporate ethics readings.

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

Ethics exam cheater.

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Squeezing the Free Press.

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

Thinking Gears

Build your very own conflict of interest!

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

'Loved your bit on market share, Felton - perfect blend of plausibility and outright deception.'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

What We Thought Were Canals Are Deep Prejudices and Inequities.

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

"Buzz off, Fly-boy. We don't need more accessories."

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"Eat my dust!"

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

Slavery Reparations

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'