Ethics Gifts

"Some people say you can't put a price on a wife's twenty-seven years of loyalty and devotion. They're wrong."

"Oh, what the hell, I'll add another zero."

"Honesty is the best policy, Fernbaugh, but it's not company policy."

'I regret now cutting ethics class.'

"Miss Dugan, will you send someone in here who can distinguish right from wrong?"

"I hope you don't think that you have a monopoly on ethics."

'Don't tell me this nonsense doesn't violate the code of bioethics.'

"I can't remember. Are we for or against cloning?"

"Do you ever ask yourself 'humanely raised' for what?"

"Remember, we can only afford to do all this pro bono because of how much anti bono pays."

"I've never understood—what is the difference between morals and ethics?"

"I'm also returning these Ivanka Trump brand clothes. They chafe my morals."

'Say hello, everyone, to Bert Phelps. He'll be taking the job of security manager for our entire poultry products division!'

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

'Do everything ethically ... within reason, of course.'

'Under disclosure rules, I'm required to tell you I own stock in the company whose

'How to stump a corporate lawyer.'

"Your integrity is on the line. Want me to say you're in a meeting?"

'It's not the same. I was caught stealing office supplies. You, on the other hand, got caught stealing ideas.'

"Do a double-blind test. Give the new drug to rich patients and a placebo to the poor. No sense getting their hopes up. They couldn't afford it even if it works."

It was the moment of truth, after which they all got back to lying.

"People, the facts are inescapable. Any ideas on how we can ignore them?"

'It has to be understandable, Higbe. A code of ethics is not actually to be written in code.'

'I'd like you to check my core values.'

'We need a campaign to tell the public that we put social responsibility ahead of profits so we can make more profits.'

'We're able to cut back on legal fees by being more ethical.'

Ethics exam cheater.

"At first it's, we'll try this and we'll try that. But when there's a medical break-through, guess who takes all the credit."

Professor illustrating how to put social responsibility ahead of profits.

'And what if I did doctor the documents? I'm a doctor.'

"It's not all bad. We still have enough cash for bribing the prison guards."

"You have a major fiasco at 10:30, followed by a shocking scandal at 2:15."

'What do you mean it's wrong? In Ethics we learnt that the truth is always objective!'

Feeding Tubes Removed $50.

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'