Ethical Ponderers Gifts

'But what if you're a masochist...?'

"I was just wondering how our lives would have turned out if the Rhinocratic oath had caught on."

'Do you know whether this rat poison has been tested on animals?'

"Man-to-man talk, Randy." "Proceed, friend." "If you were being audited, and you may have accidentally burned all your receipts and ledgers...would it be manlier to run away to a country that has no extradition treaty with the ours, or to weasel out of it by ratting out an even bigger tax cheat?" "Or, would it be manlier to frame the auditor for a crime he didn't commit?" "Gonna have to take a day to think about this one."

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

In/Out/These Things Happen.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"Have you been playing dice?"

Chiller Theatre

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

Sauce for the Goose

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"I'm learning to live with existence."

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

Ten Commandments

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

"Is this who I am?"

The Price of Freedom

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

"I cross the road to forget."