Morality Ponderer Gifts

"Why, yes, Phil, I do remember where I was when JFK was shot."

"The banality of evil."

"Our next guest has kindly agreed to talk to us about living in sin."

'Before we start, has everyone shed their moral baggage?'

'Rocco, are you listening?'

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"Have you been playing dice?"

"Call me?"

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

Sauce for the Goose

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

The Price of Freedom

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

'What I lack in cognitive flexibility, I make up for in moral flexibility.'

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

Afraid of change - leave it here.

'...and that is my philosophy.'

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

'Why am I the one always getting kicked?'

"I think it's wrong to hunt them when they're in a house of worship."

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

If a dog barks in the forest, and no one hears him, does he make a sound?

'If you're omnipresent, why do I always have to climb way up here?'

Ivan Turgenev