Household Tasks Gifts

A Visit From The Procrastination Muse

'Washing dishes, why?'

"I'm afraid we won't make dinner. Emily washed the duvet cover and it's going to take the rest of the night to out the comforter back in."

"Did you call someone to come test for margarine residue in the refrigerator?"

'She malfunctioned yesterday and put a sock in the dishwasher.'

'Car wash.'

'He's very good at multi-asking!'

"Oh, my husband has an excellent memory, and I'm sure he knows the content of his "to do" list by heart. The problem is that he's just plain lazy!"

"Glimmo" Washing Powder - Economy Size!

"I have to help my parents take a boring trip down memory lane...I mean...clean out the attic."

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

When laundry ruled the waves.

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

Neighbor Leaf Wars

"Drunk, yet orderly"

'Burying things is his version of spring cleaning.'

Kitchen Tetris

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

A DIY disaster.

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

'Our Filipino dog's a real treasure.'

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Woman simutaneously playing the cello and washing man in bath's back

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

Washing Line Walker

'No hay, no grooming, no mucking out and they live in the broom cupboard!'

Stone Age women were less happy than men at the arrival of the iron age: Look what I've invented just for you darling.

"For God's sake, Lucille. We're IN a vacuum."

'But you said to clean my room.'

"You get back here this minute, young man! You're not going anywhere until you clean your room!"

"I spent the whole day cleaning the house. My cleaning lady comes tomorrow and I didn't want her seeing things like that!"