Domestic Chores Gifts

"Would you have liked any help?"

'If you're not busy....any chance of a coffee ?'

"Now that I've moved my files down here to the basement, we'll be able to spend a lot more time together."

"Are you sure the doctor said it takes 14 weeks for your leg to heal?"

Automatic Dishwasher.

Romance over the Irons

Maid

"I'll be using tonight's briefing to show some data on domestic duty sharing, then I'll take questions from the floor."

"Honestly, I don't know why we bother to live in sin..."

"I just wanted to remind you that all money I find doing your laundry becomes mine."

Famous last words.

'Three iron.'

'Never accuse me of not lending a hand. I've just sewn your bicycle patch on.'

Tortoise polishing his shell

How come a lot of virile men are too weak for indoor work?

'I did my part of house cleaning, now it's your time...it's shovel ready'

"Ah the sound of the first lawn mower"

'That was my wife calling from the conference centre - she wanted to make sure I'd put the rubbish out.'

'As the CEO of a large corporation, I don't suppose you'd consider taking out the garbage?'

'I don't mind helping with the dishes, but I'll be damned if you think I'm scrubbing off six years of grime.'

Maids

“We need eggs, milk, bread... Oh, and get an extra-large tub of outrage. We’re running low.”

"Yesterday's clothes, which weren't quite dirty enough to wash, or clean enough to put away" "The day before yesterday's clothes" "A parcel you have forgotten to send back" "Your sense of inner peace and harmony" "Clothes from the day before that" "A beloved sock, last seen in February 2023"

"What happened to what cat?"

hoovering husband

"Just let me finish my drink and then we'll switch."

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

Yardless: Please help

When laundry ruled the waves.

'Burying things is his version of spring cleaning.'

"Drunk, yet orderly"

Neighbor Leaf Wars