Housework Gifts

'Well at least your washing up arm is O.K!'

'Mom, do you get any perks with this job?'

'My laundry just sent me a friend request.'

'What's your washing dishes got to do with human rights?'

"Oh, there's your problem—twenty years of resentment at having to do the dishes."

'To answer your question, I'll do indoors when they produce a home sit-on motorized carpet-cleaner.'

"Ok honey, we can stop using disposables, if you're happy to do the dishes."

'Have you ever heard the parable of the lawn left unmowed?'

'Graduation - Now you can do your own laundry.'

'No hay, no grooming, no mucking out and they live in the broom cupboard!'

"Laundry or composting?"

'It's Mother's Day! Leave all this for tomorrow...'

I give up. What is it?

'Hmm. . . so that's the incredible shrinking machine you've been talking about.'

'Stop picking up after your kids.'

'The only exercise I get with this is dusting it once a week.'

"Yes, our dishwasher is a smart appliance. But, you still have to actually put the dishes in it."

'Next comes the cool part. Grab the clothes pegs. We're going online.'

Stone Age women were less happy than men at the arrival of the iron age: Look what I've invented just for you darling.

Leaves form the words 'Sweep me!'

Working from Home

'Don't bother your father. He tried to fold a fitted sheet.'

"I need to talk about my inner life."

'Don't think of sweeping as a chore. Consider it practice for the Olympic Curling Team.'

Sue believed that one day she would find her soul mate - and her missing sock.

'I usually wait for it to stop spinning.'

Wouldn't it be simpler just to buy me a clothes dryer?

"Life Without Parole"

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

'Who's the clown responsible for ordering the new exercise equipment?'

'If my 'Honey-Do' list annoys you, wait till you see my 'Honey-Don't.'

'I'm a self-starter unfortunately I'm also a self-finisher.'

MOTHER: All generations of family pester her: Did you iron my shirt? Can I get my ears pierced? etc

Tightrope walker hanging out his washing.

"You hear waves crashing, I hear our dishwasher."