Housework Gifts

'Well at least your washing up arm is O.K!'

'Mom, do you get any perks with this job?'

'My laundry just sent me a friend request.'

"Oh, there's your problem—twenty years of resentment at having to do the dishes."

'What's your washing dishes got to do with human rights?'

"Ok honey, we can stop using disposables, if you're happy to do the dishes."

'To answer your question, I'll do indoors when they produce a home sit-on motorized carpet-cleaner.'

'Have you ever heard the parable of the lawn left unmowed?'

'No hay, no grooming, no mucking out and they live in the broom cupboard!'

"Laundry or composting?"

I give up. What is it?

'It's Mother's Day! Leave all this for tomorrow...'

"Yes, our dishwasher is a smart appliance. But, you still have to actually put the dishes in it."

'Next comes the cool part. Grab the clothes pegs. We're going online.'

'Stop picking up after your kids.'

'The only exercise I get with this is dusting it once a week.'

'Hmm. . . so that's the incredible shrinking machine you've been talking about.'

"I need to talk about my inner life."

Stone Age women were less happy than men at the arrival of the iron age: Look what I've invented just for you darling.

'Don't bother your father. He tried to fold a fitted sheet.'

Working from Home

'Don't think of sweeping as a chore. Consider it practice for the Olympic Curling Team.'

Leaves form the words 'Sweep me!'

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

"Life Without Parole"

'Who's the clown responsible for ordering the new exercise equipment?'

'Y'know - you should get yourself a hobby too,luv.'

"You hear waves crashing, I hear our dishwasher."

"Marie has been planning for my retirement for years."

'I'm a self-starter unfortunately I'm also a self-finisher.'

Tightrope walker hanging out his washing.

'Before you go toodling off with the boys, you're going to help me with the spring cleaning!'

Wouldn't it be simpler just to buy me a clothes dryer?

Sue believed that one day she would find her soul mate - and her missing sock.