Housekeeping Gifts

Bad Housekeeping: The Magazine For Women Who Couldn't Care Less

'Look! It's superwoman...and all her assistants!'

'Nice iron. Your wife will love it. While I wrap it, you might want to go over to sporting goods and pick out a helmet.'

Wonder Woman!

'I wondered when you were going to clean the refrigerator.'

Underwear Man and his disgruntled sidekick Laundry Woman

"The killer had to be a man. Not only is the knife still bloody—it wasn't even put in the sink."

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

A woman's work is never done.

'How hard would it be to put your dirty glass in the dishwasher, instead of leaving it on the counter?'

'I was home schooled. It stands for 'Master of Bedmaking and Aerobic housecleaning'.'

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

Tear off carpet.

Search for Missing Socks

This Semester's Report Card

"Can I call you back? I'm decluttering."

'Talk about tough days.'

'Help!'

'Mum, when you've finished your full-time job, cleaned the house, sorted the laundry, made the meals and walked the dog could you sort out these bills for me?'

Vacuuming.

"And to think as a child I used to love playing house."

Husband does the housework

"No, you don't need to slay a dragon or go on a quest to prove your love to me. I just want you to keep your castle a hell of a lot cleaner."

'Are we hoarders?' 'No, I think we're just slobs.' 'Oh, ok.'

Dish Soap And A Soap Dish Sharing A Nice Laugh

'Don't worry. If you gain a few pounds, I'll drop extra stuff on the floor for you to pick up.'

"Oh, all right. I guess we can run a load of cat toys."

The household cavalry

"If you find him, tug on the rope, and we'll pull you both out."

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

Those missing socks...where do they go?

"Thanks very much for helping with the laundry, sweetheart, but I said a capful of detergent, not a cupful!"

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

'Mum said you were the first man she ever trained, Dad.'

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'