Home Keeping Gifts

Domestic Superheroes!!

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

Dog Walking Services

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

Biofelineism

Hungry child

"I didn't spark joy."

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

When laundry ruled the waves.

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Man using to much bug spray

Yardless: Please help

Martha Stewart Takes Over The Universe

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

'Burying things is his version of spring cleaning.'

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

A DIY disaster.

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

'Our Filipino dog's a real treasure.'

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

"I had to skip my workout."

'Rabbits make great pets, but it's best to have them one at a time.'

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'