Household Maintenance Gifts

'House calls can make you feel worse.'

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

"It's my pet mouse, Elvis. He was caught in a trap."

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

Yardless: Please help

Man using to much bug spray

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

"The trees are laughing at us."

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

The household cavalry

Timber preservation

"Sure, it's a break you can live with... but screw one more socket and you're toast!"

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

House proud woman vacuums hair from dog.

'I'd recommend the 9 tine.'

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

"Let me call you back, Lori. I'm binge-watching John clean the gutters."

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

"What already?! You're the one who told me I needed professional help."

"How many times have I told you kids to turn off the light when you leave a room?!"

"Hello?"

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

"Why do I feel like your mother is going to blame this on my cleaning?"

Product Testing Department