Home Maintenance Awareness Gifts

'Ma'am, don't you know that dirty chimneys are a fire hazard?'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

Yardless: Please help

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Man using to much bug spray

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"The trees are laughing at us."

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

The household cavalry

Timber preservation

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"Sure, it's a break you can live with... but screw one more socket and you're toast!"

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

'I'd recommend the 9 tine.'

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

House proud woman vacuums hair from dog.

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

"Why do I feel like your mother is going to blame this on my cleaning?"

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

"Let me call you back, Lori. I'm binge-watching John clean the gutters."

"What already?! You're the one who told me I needed professional help."

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

Product Testing Department

"The mold cleaners are here! I gotta scram."

"Peter quickly learns the limitations of his new hamster ball."

"Prepare to meet thy blower."