Household Maintenance Pillows

Moses unblocking the toilet.

'House calls can make you feel worse.'

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

"It's my pet mouse, Elvis. He was caught in a trap."

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Yardless: Please help

Man using to much bug spray

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

"The trees are laughing at us."

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

Ernie likes to fix things around the house. Just today he's fixed two sandwiches, three sundaes, and some microwave brownies.

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

The household cavalry

Timber preservation

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"Sure, it's a break you can live with... but screw one more socket and you're toast!"

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

'I'd recommend the 9 tine.'

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

House proud woman vacuums hair from dog.

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

"Let me call you back, Lori. I'm binge-watching John clean the gutters."

"What already?! You're the one who told me I needed professional help."

"How many times have I told you kids to turn off the light when you leave a room?!"

"Hello?"