Home Chores Gifts

"You realize one of us is not coming back."

'Whenever Mat gets a little over-confident, I tell him to try to fold a fitted bed sheet.'

'Help!'

The Emperor's New Clothesline.

Man with Ironing burns on shirt - "How are things going at home Robert?"

Woodpecker

'If at first you don't succeed, dry, dry again.'

'That's it? The facts of life? Mom washes the dishes and you dry them?'

Oh no! Socks again?!

"We need a new clothes press."

Choosing washing up liquid - "You choose, it's your department."

I insisted the stupid vacuum cleaner Fred bought for my birthday come with a special labor-saving attachment...him!

'He was ironing his shirt when the phone rang.'

Dryer Sheets: Lemon (scented).

"Next up is a hilarious spinoff of the wash cycle."

"Edna, have you fallen asleep in the bath again?"

"Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks. George changed the toilet roll yesterday!"

The Origin of Laundry Day

When laundry ruled the waves.

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

"So. . . you're back!"

"Thanks for washing the duvet cover. Have you seen the cat?"

Hang the PJ's

'That's right across the screen - how inconsiderate can you get?'

'All right, I'm done thawing out the freeze, now what was it you couldn't wait to tell me about finally finding two snowflakes that are exactly alike?'

'Why do I have to do it?!'

'I'll have to get you something for those rough hands-a differant washing up liquid perhaps'.

Don't you think you're taking this equality thing a little to far, Janet?

'How was I supposed to know that men aren't machine washable?'

'You know, if you cleaned the litter box more often, you wouldn't have to wear the hazmat suit.'

Futile Little Snow Shoveler Guy Snow Globe

"Brian, I've seen where all the missing socks have been going!"

Sex dreams.

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"Talk to me while I ignore you."