Home Run Hero Fan Gifts

J. Willems - batting champ, home run champ, tested negative for steroids.

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

Monster Baseball

"My God!!..Just how long have we had this Broccoli hiding in the back of the fridge?"

"Got him up at the stadium, Chief. It was Yankee Duck Day."

'Look at those arms! I was born to ride a Harley Davidson!'

"It's Houston. They have a problem."

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

Indoor Football

'Watch out, Dewey! Cow pie!'

'He's not a skilled pitcher. In fact, he throws like a nerd...'

'Time out! He needs a hug!!'

Altar Ego

And the crowd goes wild—except for Mary, because she wasn't paying attention.

"He turns into this horrible thing every full moon!"

"The Equal Opportunity people say I can't call you my sidekick any more. You're now my personal assistant."

'Me? Argue? ...No, sir! That was an excellent call.'

"Hey! What's with the 'home run trot'? You struck out!"

'Safe!'

A Not So Grand Slam.

"My dad is more into technology than sports. I dropped a ball today, so he thinks my mitt has a virus."

'Isn't it about time for our seventh-year stretch?'

'Go ahead, big bowler... Show me what you've got!'

T-Rex Baseball

"Your inability to turn off your critical voice, combined with your fear of disappointing your overbearing, demanding father, is causing you to lose faith in your fastball."