Home Turf Hero Gifts

Indoor Football

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

Children playing football.

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

'She deserves it since she's raised our three kids with me overseas.'

Planting veggies

Wyatt returns home to visit his old small town.

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

'Nice Header, Lauren!'

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

A boy with a football

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

man juggling career, home and children

"I don't care if your mother is watching on telly, just get the ball in the net!"

And the crowd goes wild—except for Mary, because she wasn't paying attention.

'There are shortcuts to making home brew, but taking a swig of malt extract and letting it ferment in your mouth isn't one of them.'

Professional football.

'Love your renovations.'

"Look, I'm the bobblehead of this team."

school kids playing conkers

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

'Make it quick, Mom! I've got to get back and finish my mud pies.'

An occassional clean out should prevent unpleasant smells.

'Roger that...I'm taking the first clean shot I can get.'

'He never has an energy crisis.'

"A little high and inside."

'The salad bar's coming in early this year!!'