Home Run Enthusiast Gifts

'Gribner is batting .317 with six home runs and a positive steroid testing average of just .17 lifetime. Here's the pitch.'

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

Church for sports worshipers.

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

350 Feet.

Perils of the double play.

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

"My wife wanted to see a diamond. So I took her to a ballgame."

Boy with bat using toaster to launch bread for him to practise hitting

Baseball batting cage theater La Cage Aux Folles.

Vendor selling testosterone.

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

Sheltering in place.

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'OK, now let's switch places.'

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

"Slugger goes yard!!!"

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

I watched an erotic thriller last night. Have you heard of the film 'Field of Dreams'?

I can just feel it. I know they're talking about me.

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

Extra innings.

"Oh, how I wish the season would start!"

Official Team Cap With Beard

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

Goodbye Opiate of the Masses

All Star Team.

'Here is is. 'Vicarious: imagined participation in another's experience' ... it doesn't mean you actually get to play on your son's team.'