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Filming Christmas

Director/Action Man toy.

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Herman Mankiewicz

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

"Drunk, yet orderly"

'This will be great for chase scenes.'

Canadian film production

'Hey, Charlie, have we got good news for you!'

'Action!...Cut!...Right, everything else is CGI'

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

'Dad, would you ming standing up, then accidentally tripping on the dog and falling flat on your face? I'll try to get it in one shot.'

"What do you want to be when you blow up?"

"And the award for the best use of AI in a movie goes to..."

Police film evidence

Next camera crew 5 mins

Kirsten Johnson

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

"My favourite movie is Mrs Fire, without doubt."

"WOW...this 50.1 theatre sound system makes you feel you're actually in the movie!"

Now Playing at the Europlex

A 1920's film director with hand-cranked camera and megaphone.

"So, do you see yourself as a car valet who writes screenplays or a screen writer who parks cars?"

"This is off our first TikTok."

A father films his family while imagining himself as a director