Movie Maker Gifts

"Money, of course, is a producer's medium."

"And here - take this Vin Diesel monologue with you!"

"I just want to eat! I don't want to see a storyboard of our dinner."

"Sure, it's a little formulaic but I love it"

The Delighted States of An Erica

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Director/Action Man toy.

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

Herman Mankiewicz

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

Working in the Hazard Zone!

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

'Being a superhero doesn't mean that everything about me is super you know!'

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

'This will be great for chase scenes.'

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

Canadian film production

Standard endings for sci-fi movies...

'Hey, Charlie, have we got good news for you!'