Filmmaking Gifts

Goldilocks at Sundance.

"Enough storyboarding. Let's shoot something."

"All right, let's do it again. This time, you're good at acting."

Block Closed for Gritty, Hard-Edged Tale

'We are making a film of the book.'

Whoops, left the tape out. We'll have to start over.

"Could you ask the driver to slow down we're trying to film 'Great Railway Journeys' here.

A 1920's film director with hand-cranked camera and megaphone.

"My wife is recording everything the kids do until they leave for college. Then I'll binge-watch them grow up."

"We'll add the everything in afterward."

Chairs read 'Director (movie)' and 'Director (sycophantic DVD extras)'.

"You can chase your accounting dream later, son. Your mother and I just want you to finish film school."

Man with mobile phone says: 'I can't call for help, I'm filming this for the TV news.'

"Got it!"

"I actually don't know who he is .... but he's cheaper than a body camera."

Computer wheeled down red carpet at film premiere. TV presenter says: 'Now, at last, here comes the real star of the movie!'

On the Science Newsbeat: 'Come back in...oh...let's say a year or two.'

Vasectomy the Movie "Cut!"

'I forgot - is this a movie set, or the real thing?'

"… and the last item on the pre-nuptial aggreement is, … he wants final cut on all home videos."

"I didn't mind the two hour video of their holiday, but..."

'-and where are the CAMERAS I asked for?'

'Relax, Maude and watch the birdie'.

'Cut!' (movie studio director)

'Okay, this is the scene where the bear becomes a parachute.'

"When we play the footage backward, it'll look like you're repairing it."

'There's a thin line between good taste and bad taste. Does anyone know where that line is?'

"Action! And this time believe!"

"Look, I love the city, too, but wouldn't it be cheaper to shoot this in Canada?"

Directing Cows

"I love my luvvie."

Directing a wildlife documentary.

Unbeknownst to many, the Frankenstein legend was in fact based on Albert Grimes, the mad tree surgeon.

Producer, Director and Egomaniac Chair

Canadian film production