Filming Gifts

'Don't just stand there...get the camcorder!'

Don Quixote is recorded by Sancho Panza.

"In case I actually do something."

"I'm on videotape since Day One. How about you?"

"I'm happy your followers will enjoy this, but daddy needs you to stop filming and call 911."

"OK people, this one's for the blooper reel, so let's blow it out there."

"And here's the part when Fred realized he forgot to take the lens cap off the camcorder."

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

Bird Flying Into Bird Bath.

'Eggs, I'm cooking eggs!'

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

Director/Action Man toy.

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

Herman Mankiewicz

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

Working in the Hazard Zone!

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

The ghosts of Christmas yet to come.

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

'Your videotape's intriguing - But it still doesn't prove that they really exist.'

"Say hello to my little friend."

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'