Documentary Filming Gifts

'Because it's there.' ... 'Because he may fall.'

Director/Action Man toy.

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

Herman Mankiewicz

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

Live Stream

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

'This will be great for chase scenes.'

Canadian film production

'Hey, Charlie, have we got good news for you!'

"Oh, come on! Nobody brought a pen?"

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

Police film evidence

They're watching a documentary about safety razors. Sounds like a Schick flick!

Kirsten Johnson

Now Playing at the Europlex

Next camera crew 5 mins

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

Filming Christmas

Crocodile

The team video didn't spotlight my talents. I've hired my own film crew. They'll showcase my skills so college recruiters can see my strengths. Wow! How can the director pack so much into one little video? Great point! Daddy? Tell Steven Spielberg we're going feature length. Nice save!

"And the award for the best use of AI in a movie goes to..."

A 1920's film director with hand-cranked camera and megaphone.

Martin Scorsese

"Mom! Kathy's feeding her liver to the dog! Want to see the video?"

"Me Tarzan. You CGI."

Michael Moore creates a UK equivalent of Fahrenheit 9/11

Script/Director/Producer/Decency Panel.

"So, do you see yourself as a car valet who writes screenplays or a screen writer who parks cars?"

Quentin Tarantino