Documentary Filmmaking Gifts

Palme D'Or.

Director/Action Man toy.

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

Herman Mankiewicz

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'This will be great for chase scenes.'

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

Live Stream

Canadian film production

'Hey, Charlie, have we got good news for you!'

"Oh, come on! Nobody brought a pen?"

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

"And the award for the best use of AI in a movie goes to..."

The following wildlife film is sponsored in part by a grant from...Mother Nature Foundation.

Kirsten Johnson

Police film evidence

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

Filming Christmas

Next camera crew 5 mins

Now Playing at the Europlex

They're watching a documentary about safety razors. Sounds like a Schick flick!

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

The team video didn't spotlight my talents. I've hired my own film crew. They'll showcase my skills so college recruiters can see my strengths. Wow! How can the director pack so much into one little video? Great point! Daddy? Tell Steven Spielberg we're going feature length. Nice save!

Crocodile

A 1920's film director with hand-cranked camera and megaphone.

Michael Moore creates a UK equivalent of Fahrenheit 9/11

Quentin Tarantino