Documentary Gifts

Social lens of the photojournalist

Michael Moore.

'Great! So that's the film... Now for the sound!'

An environmental documentary crew filming garbage washing up on the beach.

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

Live Stream

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

"Oh, come on! Nobody brought a pen?"

Shaped Much Different: Vietnam and Afghanistan.

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

Kirsten Johnson

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

They're watching a documentary about safety razors. Sounds like a Schick flick!

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

The following wildlife film is sponsored in part by a grant from...Mother Nature Foundation.

Next camera crew 5 mins

Crocodile

Police film evidence

Cinéma Vérité

Michael Moore creates a UK equivalent of Fahrenheit 9/11

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

'Phoor...watch these sperm whales at it...ah...yes..yes...'

"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."

'Come on, you're telling me that you don't watch the Discovery Channel.'

"Ugh! Stop making a drama documentary out of a molehill."

Top Secret/Middle Secret/Bottom Secret

My friend, Ernie, the documentary filmmaker, is producing a series about beverages. One film follows a man's search for the perfect lager. The working title is "The Beer Hunter." He found a group of young women in high school who are fantastic baristas. "Bean Girls." Espresso. Another movie will uncover animosity in the orange juice business. Maybe I should call it "Pulp Friction." And he's examining vineyards and winemakers all over the globe. I'll call the film "Planet of the Grapes"!

A penguin's life is like endless summer camp, swimming and fishing all day every day!

A bunch of global warming skeptics want to join eco club. It's a school organization. You have to let them in. But they just want to harass us with selective facts! Today: Eco club. So? Debate is good. You have :An Inconvenient Truth" to counter their arguments. Oh. Great. Now we'll have to read it.

A typical Monday. Zombie truck driving maniacs! South Pole penguin love! That's a stupid eco-friendly chick documentary! Insipid, mindless, violent, zombie crud! Negotiations commence, nearly a week before date night. Wimp! Blockbuster head!

Poor vs Rich